Everyday since we found out Camilla's condition, I have a point where I cry or feel angry. Usually once a day, (not counting the cry myself to sleep routine that has set in). I can have a completely positive day and then there is that moment where I find myself slamming the kitchen drawers or hugging my husband so tightly it is difficult for him to still my trembling. Of course I feel these things! I know it is normal. This isn't a path I really want, I wish it was different. I don't know what we face. I don't understand any of it. I hate medical terminology, but now I have a brand new vocabulary consisting of it. Why? I didn't really care to have that on my plate.
I know Matt and I are feeling the same things. But we realize that we are faced with a choice. We have to choose to PRAISE during this storm. I just don't understand how it is for people to face tragedy or difficulties if they do not have faith in God. They must feel hopeless. In no way do I feel hopeless; but that is because I have my heavenly Father's help! So I write this post today in hopes someone who feels hopeless can learn there is hope in God and will seek out someone who can show them. Life doesn't have to be hopeless.
It comes around to the same conclusion every time- no matter how "mad" my moment is at that one point of the day---I keep coming back to such PEACE. Peace in knowing everything will be alright. IT WILL! God works all things out for good and our life plans are already written detail by detail by Him! I am so thankful I have that to cling to. Feeling mad and peaceful all within a ten minute period isn't contradictory. It is what makes us REAL. The important thing is to remember that the peace God brings in your life wins out every single time.