Friday, September 3, 2010
Dear Camilla Joy,
I wonder- do you know how much we love you? Do you hear your brother and sister talking and singing to you? Have you enjoyed my commentary about the weather changing soon and how I'm making hair clippies for you? I am assuming you have a bunch of hair as I have heartburn all the time! Do you realize that your name is being spoken in hundreds of prayers from so many people? I think you feel it too, like I do. I am so excited to meet you, Camilla, to hold your perfect little fingers and kiss your sweet, soft cheeks. I can't wait to see your brother and sister's faces when they meet their baby sister! The next few weeks are filled with eagerness as the date of your arrival comes closer and the thought of holding you in my arms becomes more real to me.
I want to tell you something-I absolutely love your name. Maybe it's because it means "perfect happiness" or maybe it's because it is so precious to hear it from your Isaac all the time. Maybe it is because it just "fits" you, or because you squirm all around when I say it. I am not sure. Today Mommy's friend, Margo, gave me a beautiful bracelet that proclaims your name on tiny little silver beads. I love that no matter which way the beads spin, your name is still clear and visible. I also love that I can wear it and glance down and see my Camilla girl's name out of the corner of my eye all day long. But most of all I just loved seeing your name in print. All afternoon my musings were about your name: on Christmas cards, arranged in refrigerator magnets, on the tags of your coat and mittens, on your birth announcement, on the back of pictures, your crayon box, and inside the covers of your books.
Are you continuing to get better sweetie? Because your Mommy is so praying you are and sometimes I am scared because I just don't know. I have witnessed so many miracles already, and I really feel you are telling me you are alright. People say I am so strong, but I tell them it is all because of you. I love you so very, very much. It truly is because of you I have learned to give God full control of my life and have learned to trust Him completely. He has filled me with strength and faith I never, ever knew possible. My God has comforted me when I am wrangling with waves of fear that are far over my head.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.""
His word reminds me in moments of struggle, that he hears my cries and holds my tears. I know for sure that He has a plan for you, sweet girl, and for our family.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Knowing you, Camilla Joy, is making me a better person. I am learning to appreciate things that I took for granted before. I have also witnessed God's love through so many people, in a way that simply overwhelms me. I want you to know that your life is perfectly planned by God and He already knew the amazing girl you would become.
He is using you. It is remarkable to think of that!
Thank you, sweet girl.