Thursday, August 12, 2010

Fear of Onesies...

You might wonder what the title means. Sounds weird, I know. But my struggle lately is with fear regarding Camilla's situation. Mostly he (the devil) strikes at me when I am tired or trying to fall asleep. He starts shooting the arrows of fear at me. When he starts hurling-watch out because he has a quiver full.
Fear of her dying.
Fear of my health.
Fear of major surgery on a tiny baby.
Fear of not having control of the all.
Fear of being away from my other children.
Fear of her future.
Fear of the logistics of the birth in Grand Rapids.
Fear of her being in pain. Boy, does he hurl them fast.
Fear of how she will look.
Fear of her being teased.
Fear of reactions.

And fear of onesies! I am scared of getting out newborn things for Camilla, because I am not sure whether or not she will ever use them. Fear of putting them away. Here they come again. I know fear is not from God, and I have to literally tell the devil to go away! Leave me alone! On my own, I am weak; but with God's word and help, I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.

1 Corinthians 16:13:
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

Fear of setting clean white onesies out in perfect little baskets and coming home to put them away into a dark basement because they are not needed. Another arrow straight at me.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Can I control what happens? NO. Will God help me every step?YES! Watch out Satan, this Momma's got the King of Kings on her side! I will fight against your arrows and cling to the truth I find in the Bible.

Fact is, there's a good chance that my baby girl is coming home. And she's going to need those onesies. So I'll put them out; just in case. And when you try to beat me down, I'll tell you to leave like I have been doing. If I need them, I will praise Him! And if I don't, I will praise Him! Whatever the outcome, God has Camilla in his precious hands and she is His creation. And my blessing.

I can't wait to meet you, my sweet Camilla girl. The onesie pictured will be in your basket if you do indeed come home and need it.


  1. You are such a strong woman. Keep holding onto the Truth. If you are interested we just had a teaching on fear.

  2. You are strong, Amie! Thanks again for sharing your fears and what's on your heart. The scripture that you shared is very powerful! Praying for you! God WILL continue to help you with every step!!
    Love you!

  3. Thanks Right Honey tell Satan to Leave in the Name of Jesus and he has to go... He has no power over you.... Stand strong put on all of your armor. Remember that our heavenly Father is in front, along side, and behind you so who can touch You or Cami... NO-ONE !!!!! Love Mom M

  4. I can completely relate to everyone of your fears... remember, you are NOT in control.. God is and his plan is better than anything that we could ever come up with. Stay in Faith. Praying for you and your family.

    Also, one thing that no-one shared with me, and I never thought about.... try and find some shirts and etc. that don't pull over her head.

  5. Thanks to all of you for the sweet comments and for the prayers!
    Good point Zoe...I'll have to go shopping now for some shirts that maybe snap closed. THANK YOU!

  6. Amie, You're awesome. I just had to say it.

  7. Wow are truly an amazing woman. You continue to be in our prayers. We love you!